Our Mission: To Increase Awareness of Narcissistic Abuse and Provide a Voice For Those Affected
Narcissistic Abuse is an ever growing form of Abuse in today’s entitlement centric, all about me, and me first socio-cultural environment. Those who have been affected by Narcissistic Abuse are dismissed as having the problem, while the perpetrator (the narcissist) portrays themselves to be all sincere and altruistic.
Anything seem familiar here...
Lacking empathy, shallow emotions, arrogant, contemptuous, envious, admiration seeking, empty of core self, intolerant of child’s values and needs, exploits others. grandiosity and attitude of entitlement
Devious and stealthy, by the very composition of their abuse, they’re able to evade answerability for the abuse. Simply for the reason that the false public persona they present to the outside world; which is usually one of a charming caring veneer that hides their true cruelty.
It's not you...
There are no medications to treat a person’s Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Therapy prognosis is often poor as a Narcissist does not believe they have or are a problem.
It's all about them...
Narcissists do not pick losers. They target the best of the best. The strongest. The smartest. The most capable. The ones who surpass their own level. So if you happen to have a narcissist in your life, take a moment to think about the reality of that. You’re stronger than them. You’re smarter than them. You’re a survivor. And they know it. They need you. You, on the other hand, do not need them!
"The Disguise" A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing
” A few calculated visible acts of kindness do not make up for the behaviors that exploited and manipulated my love and empathy in a thousand different ways. “
Fact: Narcissistic Abuse destroys one's self-esteem and self-worth. Shed any shame - respect and value who you are. Remember to give yourself Grace as you are actually the better person!
Realities of Narcissistic Abuse
in the United States are effected by
have a Narcissistic Personality Disorder affecting roughly five persons around them
Someone Else Abusing You On Behalf of the Narcissist...
What are Flying Monkeys?
‘Flying monkeys’ are from the Wizard of Oz. Under the spell of the Wicked Witch of the East, they did her bidding against Dorothy. The term ‘Flying Monkeys’ became synonymous with ‘abuse by proxy’; simply put, having someone else do the narcissist’s bidding.
Narcissists like to smear and spread untruths about their targeted victim. They use a victim’s friends and family to spy on them, spread gossip while painting themselves as the actual victim. Narcissists paint their target as the perpetrator. Flying monkeys can either be your friends, family, fellow workers or the narcissist’s friends, family, or workmates before you arrived. The narcissist’s use of third parties is to reinforce their power, control and manipulation of you – the target – the scapegoat.
Gradually the messages being fed to your friends and family may start to contain a little truth with a backhanded compliment. In reality, the narcissist is ‘talking smack’ (talking about you behind your back), creating doubt and undermining your trustworthiness. They emphasize something like “Steve is such a good teller of tales, but I can never tell when he is exaggerating.”
The seeds of doubt the narcissist has planted sets the trap for when you start to counter and explain the narcissist’s untruths, deceit and misdeeds. That seed of doubt has now grown enough roots that your own friends, family or coworkers are not going to accept the things you say about the narcissist’s behavior. The narcissist has undermined your credibility completely, even with the people you thought you could rely on the most.
When you need and turn to the ones you believed would be there, you are faced with the realization that your friends and family have become the narcissist’s ‘Flying Monkeys’. The relationships the narcissist has nurtured with your friends and family allows him or her to pivot and immediately spread and reinforce the lies targeting you. The narcissist will project their transgressions on to you and claim you are the offender. The narcissist has already prepped the trap you find yourself in and it will become apparent it is a no-escape situation at that. Narcissists are that effective, that subtle and that complete.
The why... abridged
When one becomes mindful and looks back, where to begin…
One may not be able to identify the exact date when, within their mind, an uneasiness was felt, that something was not exactly right. A contrary feeling to, as a child, your belief that you are loved and in a safe place. Though, at times, the uneasy feeling crept center stage and you questioned, perhaps, actions did not always bear out the spoken words. Reinforced by certain words coming across as a cutting or sarcastic comment, which, unknowingly to yourself, was calculatingly undermining your self-esteem and self-confidence. I certainly never believed, on more than one occasion, that I ever truly measured up. In my years, the early ones to my mid-forties, I trusted that I grew up in a loving home, a close-knit family that was looking out for one another. Well, that is what I was taught and, thus, led to believe. On the contrary, there were many occasions where that loyalty did not come through in my mother’s actions. Later in life, it also became clear that neither of my siblings would be true to their word. Actions do speak louder than words, and their actions were screaming at me. However, I was deaf to it all, as I continued to believe we were a family looking out for one another. All that was needed was more discussion, one more thing and it will all be understood. That old saying, “I wish I knew then what I know now” becomes 20/20 easy target hindsight.